Congratulations. You Win.

I’ve noticed a disturbing trend lately, especially on social media. It’s a trend that is more distressing given the tumultuous times we’re in these days, and how many people want a say in what happens now and what happens going forward.

It starts with a post or article you see online that you agree with. Maybe it’s about the pandemic; it’s perhaps a musing on police brutality. Maybe it’s about the underrepresentation and caricaturing of people of color in print and visual media. Or maybe it’s about team names that are no longer appropriate. You share it, comment on it. Your comment is a no-brainer, something like “Wear a mask,” or “Can the cops please stop killing us?” After a few likes or supportive statements, someone innocuously challenges your viewpoint. Maybe you know them, perhaps not, but hey, it invites conversation, and good things can come from it. You engage this person in conversation.

After a couple of back-and-forth comments, it begins. Questions that start with “what about…?”; statements that diminish the integrity of your experience. You provide facts, figures, articles to read; they tell you that your points are made up, or they provide information from sources that aren’t necessarily objective but back up their viewpoint. Your friends take sides, their friends take sides, and next thing you know, you’re in a full-blown Facebook/Twitter war. All the while, the item you sought to highlight--such as the fact that Breonna Taylor’s killers have not been arrested—gets lost in the noise of people calling each other stupid, “conservabrats,” “libtards,” “sheeple,” or any number of colorful put-downs.

Sometimes people are interested in learning about your experience or perspective. Thoughtful discussion evolves out of that, and that thoughtful discussion is necessary to get anything done. If we want to get anything done during these troubled times, meaningful conversations about meaningful change are imperative to address and move past the problems that helped create these times. I will happily do my part to listen when warranted and educate when my experience and perspective are useful.

But some people simply want to fight. Some people want to win an argument. In my 20’s and 30’s, I could engage that. At 41, I don’t have the time or energy for that anymore.

So, if you want to discuss perspectives and experience, if you’re able to get your point across to me AND listen to me get mine across, then let’s do that. I’m so game. However, if you only want to argue online, I’ll tip my hat and let you win.

Congratulations.

I’ve got better things to do.

#social #COVID19 #police #sayhername #BreonnaTaylor